| Author |
News Report {UGTO} (8-10-06) |
Kanman
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: August 26, 2005
Posts: 1017
From: Virginia, United States
|  Posted: 2006-08-10 20:34
Cheese Shortage Resolved!
Yes, the rumors are true! Top researchers on Luna have completed their analysis of core samples from all the way down to the very center of Luna, and the results are in. Beneath the first 200 feet of Luna's rocky surface, which came from millions of asteroid impacts, Luna itself is actually made of cheese. And not just any cheese! It is identical all the way down to the quantum level with ICC import cheese, Grade A! There is enough cheese to last the UGTO fleet for months. Even better news is that Luna's surface has grown solid enough to maintain itself as a hollow moon after all the cheese has been removed. Additional mining structures have been added to Luna for the sole purpose of bringing up this once rare resource.
In Other News
Five mining works have been killed as they sank through the thin surface skin of Lunar Cheese and kept right on going for hundreds of miles until gravity was too weak to pull them any farther. Examination of the bodies by the coroner shows that they tried to eat their way out but their body heat melted the cheese around them, and they drown in it. A notice of their demise has been sent to their families, as well as a bill for the expensive cheese they ate before dying.
DarkSpace Public Opinion Poll
Now that the UGTO no longer have to war over their need for cheese with the ICC, should the ICC consider opening diplomatic peace talks with the UGTO about an alliance to rid the metaverse of the K'luth, a threat to all humanity? Or are we just TOO different and TOO dedicated to our Vendetta?
[ This Message was edited by: Kanman *FM* on 2006-08-10 20:53 ]
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Coeus
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006
Posts: 2815
From: Philly
| Posted: 2006-08-10 21:06
ICC High Command has decoded these propaganda messages and have since discovered that it is actually a message to spys in ICC territory asking them to speed up the black market acquisition of ICC's number one commodity - Cheese.
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Do I really look like a guy with a plan?
'I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm taking you with me!'
ICC Security Council Chief Enforcer
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Kanman
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: August 26, 2005
Posts: 1017
From: Virginia, United States
| Posted: 2006-08-10 21:15
SILENCE! Do not listen to this ICC mis-information Officer! Lies! ALL LIES!
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Bash
Fleet Admiral
Joined: February 04, 2005
Posts: 365
| Posted: 2006-08-11 11:54
I spy with my left eye
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