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General Motors vs. Microsoft |
Fatal Rocko Willis
Fleet Admiral
Fatal Squadron
Joined: March 01, 2003
Posts: 1336
From: Kentucky
|  Posted: 2005-04-15 08:01
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way Computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer Expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and, grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Please share this with your friends who love, but sometimes hate, their computer.
[ This Message was edited by: Rocko Willis on 2005-04-15 08:06 ]
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Placebo
Vice Admiral
Joined: September 16, 2003
Posts: 450
| Posted: 2005-04-15 09:12
Haha, hilarious man!...I love it, keep it coming..
/me gives rocko a high five... "booyah!"
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2005-04-15 12:52
Hahahha, bravo amigo  Keep it up!
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-04-15 13:17
hahaha 
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Enterprise
Chief Marshal
Joined: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2576
From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2005-04-15 14:15
Quote:
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On 2005-04-15 08:01, Rocko Willis wrote:
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
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That part alone just made me fall over on the floor, and literally roll over laughing, I can still feel the rib cage pain.
-Ent
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Rocki
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 13, 2002
Posts: 1029
| Posted: 2005-04-15 15:07
Let's see if we can make up some as well...
11. Whenever you close the ashtray, glove compartiment or sun roof, you need to restart your car for the changes to take effect.
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Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2005-04-15 16:04
Excellent.
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2005-04-15 19:45
12) If any part of the car stops working, your windshield turns a bright blue and tells you your car must be restarted... even if you are driving down the highway...
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Binks
1st Rear Admiral
Joined: November 28, 2003
Posts: 469
| Posted: 2005-04-15 20:06
13. Whenever you installed anything new in your car it would go to a random position with no regard to space remaining, to free up that space you'd have to sit for 12 hours defragmenting your comp instead of just moving it...
14. Your new Porche would be obsolete in a week
15. You'd have to upgrade your engine every year or risk being kicked off the road for slowing everyone else down...
[ This Message was edited by: Binks on 2005-04-15 20:11 ]
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PuppetMaster[**]
Fleet Admiral
Joined: November 20, 2001
Posts: 182
From: Riegelsberg/Germany
| Posted: 2005-04-16 04:34
Quote:
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At a recent computer Expo (COMDEX)
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As in 2004 there will be no COMDEX in 2005 (at least not in Vegas, in Nov. a COMDEX will take place in Greece). Here is a german article about the cancelation: http://www.heise.de/newsticker/meldung/58073
Google will find english articles too.
Your quote is from the COMDEX 2 years ago, or even from 2002 i think
[ This Message was edited by: PuppetMaster[**] on 2005-04-16 04:35 ]
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Trekkie_zero
Cadet
Joined: October 14, 2003
Posts: 146
From: A state with too many A\'s....
| Posted: 2005-04-16 05:02
there was a comdex last year, I was at it, I have documentation of a 2004 comdex stuff, fun no, not really, but I got to play Halo in a chair that has surround sound and moves the way master chief moves in game so you can feel what your doing in game...
16) When you try to fix a problem in your car another problem spontaneosly occurs until you find something that has a problem you dont care about then no problems occur for a long long time...
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philll
Admiral
Joined: September 13, 2003
Posts: 268
| Posted: 2005-04-16 06:41
rofl
good one
i wonder y they even started that fight
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PuppetMaster[**]
Fleet Admiral
Joined: November 20, 2001
Posts: 182
From: Riegelsberg/Germany
| Posted: 2005-04-16 07:23
Quote:
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there was a comdex last year, I was at it |
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definitely *not* in Vegas: http://www.comdex.com/lasvegas/press_releases/?prid=477
There are several COMDEX's, as there are several CeBITs. But none of them are the *original* COMDEX or CeBIT.
Playing Halo is not one of the goal of a COMDEX:
"COMDEX is the global marketplace for the IT industry. Buyers and sellers from around the world converge to learn how best to use technology to solve their business challenges and remain competitive"
"Who Attends?
* Business managers, including: Executives, CEOs, CMOs, COOs, VPs, directors and managers
* IT professionals, including: CIOs, CTOs, VPs of technology, IT directors and managers, developers, software architects, project managers and engineers
* Global channel professionals, including: System integrators, distributors, and value-added resellers (VARs)"
http://www.medialiveinternational.com/global/comdex/
So, the COMDEX you were at must have been a poor copy of an exhibition for pros, adapted for the public. I can't imagine a "business challenge" or "IT directors and managers, developers, software architects, project managers and engineers" that needs a movable chair for playing Halo...
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|2eason
Grand Admiral
Agents
Joined: September 30, 2001
Posts: 1252
From: Wisconsin, US
| Posted: 2005-04-16 09:29
http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.htm
Good day
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$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2005-04-16 12:38
Did you have to rain on Rockos parade?
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