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Story of randomness 3 |
Flux Capacitor
Marshal
Joined: July 30, 2010
Posts: 305
From: the place
|  Posted: 2012-09-28 15:26
it is time for another random story people, lets see where it goes this time. Last story was pretty amusing.
It was time to go to sleep, lay down to bed...and sleep. But John knew that once he wakes up, there will be another body part missing again. He has already lost 2 fingernails and an eye in the past 3 days, since that weird dream....
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Entil-Zha the Starkiller
Chief Marshal
Ravenous Wolfpack Clan
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 261
From: Arizona - Where DST is a myth
| Posted: 2012-09-29 00:35
...that involved one of his numerous, one-nighters born of too much Morgan and coke, estranged ex wives. She liked to chew nails...everyone's but her own, down to the cuticle and or bone. As for the eye that happened when she tried to use makeup on him but being a stereotypical blonde...used the a conical wire brush from a dremil tool kit instead of the one that came with the eye liner....
[ This Message was edited by: Entil-Zha the Starkiller on 2012-09-29 00:47 ]
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\"Oh you could do that. And I could nail your head to the table, set fire to it,
and feed the charred remains to the Pak'ma'ra.\" - Capt. John Sheridan
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Hyperforce
Grand Admiral
K'Luth Revolution
Joined: January 25, 2009
Posts: 43
From: Perth, WA
| Posted: 2012-09-29 13:14
Due to the injuries from using the dremil there was quite a bloody mess when John arose from his deep slumber confused and dazed and at this stage missing 2 fingernails, an eye and various dremil attachments.
John began his day as he always did regardless of the events past and continued on to do...
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PokeYourWaffle
Marshal
Joined: October 10, 2010
Posts: 112
| Posted: 2012-09-29 13:29
his horrendous job of scooping up K'Luth feces off of the roof of his house. Ever since they came to his planet they had been dumping feces right on top of John's house. As he climbed onto the roof with his ladder he slipped on a rung that was covered in feces and broke his legs. After pulling himself back up the ladder with his hands he now had his face right in the feces because he couldn't stand. He proceeded to ...
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Talien
Marshal
Templar Knights
Joined: May 11, 2010
Posts: 2044
From: Michigan
| Posted: 2012-09-29 13:49
flatulate uncontrollably as he had previously learned that it sounded very similar to a kluth's cry for help. Very soon a drone arrived, and upon seeing his #1 favorite feces collector with such horrific injuries.....
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Ruuu
Grand Admiral
Joined: November 20, 2009
Posts: 135
From: That Tree Over There...
| Posted: 2012-09-30 08:02
He proceeded to funnel the feces into John's mouth while dancing to...
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Hyperforce
Grand Admiral
K'Luth Revolution
Joined: January 25, 2009
Posts: 43
From: Perth, WA
| Posted: 2012-09-30 13:31
all of a sudden while john believed himself to be choking he started to hear something in the distance and soon it was loud enough for him to make out the voice and what it was saying "wake Up!".
john suddenly jumped to his feet and patted himself to see if this was real or just another lucid dream, something that john had struggled with in the last few months and puzzled him to why he was having them; was it a message? or merely a simple dream with no explanation after a short time John regained his composure and and said in a quiet voice to himself (John has a few screws loose)
John:"what a stupid dream what kind of idiotic human would think up such rubbish, they said i was crazy but i never believed it until now"
[ This Message was edited by: Hyperforce on 2012-09-30 13:38 ]
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Entil-Zha the Starkiller
Chief Marshal
Ravenous Wolfpack Clan
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 261
From: Arizona - Where DST is a myth
| Posted: 2012-09-30 14:15
Then he looked down to find the 2 missing fingers are now four (pinky and ring finger of BOTH hands) while the socket of the (missing) eye now oozes bubblegum smelling snot...
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\"Oh you could do that. And I could nail your head to the table, set fire to it,
and feed the charred remains to the Pak'ma'ra.\" - Capt. John Sheridan
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Flux Capacitor
Marshal
Joined: July 30, 2010
Posts: 305
From: the place
| Posted: 2012-10-01 03:01
Why should this all happen? And why did the room still smell of feces? It was all a dream right? confused, John went to the kitchen to get a sammich, when he saw a small red creature jumping out the kitchen door, out to the garden, and into the forst. It made screaching sounds much like the so called K'luth from his dream.
As John stood in the opening of the kitchen door and looked outside for a bit longer, he noticed something bloody lying on the ground, nothing big...looks kinda like a sausage. John got closer to investigate...It was his pinky!
"A friggin alien has been eating my pinky!"
John was determined to defend himself for the next time this alien would pay him a visit.
*knock knock*
There was Frank McAllister, John's ride to work. They been carpooling for the last 2 years so they can alternate driving, 1 person can relax the whole ride. Last Friday everything was fine, but Frank didnt know jet that this monday he is about to join the story of John, into the twilight zone
[ This Message was edited by: -domedi- on 2012-10-01 03:07 ]
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Entil-Zha the Starkiller
Chief Marshal
Ravenous Wolfpack Clan
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 261
From: Arizona - Where DST is a myth
| Posted: 2012-10-01 15:49
John came to in The Zone to find Frank sawing away at his big toes with a dull hacksaw...
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\"Oh you could do that. And I could nail your head to the table, set fire to it,
and feed the charred remains to the Pak'ma'ra.\" - Capt. John Sheridan
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Flux Capacitor
Marshal
Joined: July 30, 2010
Posts: 305
From: the place
| Posted: 2012-10-03 04:24
"we have to feed him, hihihihi, we have to feed him, hihihih"
What on earth has happened to Frank to act this crazy?! Wait....feed him...did he see the same creature, did he have the same dream? It was at this time John noticed, that Frank was missing both ears. Suddenly Frank stopped sawing his foot, went silent, looked up to John and said:
"If you feed him they will come"
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Admiral C. Wilson
Admiral
Joined: July 06, 2010
Posts: 262
From: Arkansas
| Posted: 2012-10-03 09:10
And there she was when I opened my eyes that last time. She smiled......
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Well boys it looks like we'll be home in time for coffee and donuts.
-Admiral Ricky Chance Wilson
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Walrus of Apathy
Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: August 07, 2005
Posts: 466
From: Dorans Basement
| Posted: 2012-10-03 12:05
And said "can I have about tree fiddy?"
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PokeYourWaffle
Marshal
Joined: October 10, 2010
Posts: 112
| Posted: 2012-10-04 10:52
John looked up deep into her eyes and said "It's pronounced "Three Fifty"." Then he proceeded to kick her in the teeth.
[ This Message was edited by: PokeYourWaffle on 2012-10-04 10:57 ]
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Flux Capacitor
Marshal
Joined: July 30, 2010
Posts: 305
From: the place
| Posted: 2012-10-06 17:33
With a last and final kick John tried to smash her skull but instead she suddenly opened her mouth wide, real wide, and with the screaching scream of a banshee she swallowed John whole
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