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Jokes. ^__^ |
Latrodectus
Captain
Joined: March 21, 2006
Posts: 79
From: Latrodectus
|  Posted: 2009-01-22 13:58
Post a joke, get people to laugh. XD
Ill start with three.
-If barbie is so popular, how come you have to buy her friends?
-Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand
-When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
-Manekel.
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LobbyZombie
2nd Rear Admiral
Sanity Assassins
Joined: August 06, 2007
Posts: 191
From: Sweden ftw
| Posted: 2009-01-22 15:33
There is a thead like this already matey, its called 'Random Lobby Quotes'. Sorry to spoil it !
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Old am i not but what are you?
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Latrodectus
Captain
Joined: March 21, 2006
Posts: 79
From: Latrodectus
| Posted: 2009-01-22 16:02
Random lobby quotes is stuff said in the lobby. The jokes here are anything outside of ds... >.>
-Manekel.
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Sanity Assassin (K'Luth propaganda)
Grand Admiral
Sanity Assassins
Joined: February 19, 2006
Posts: 919
From: Pittsburgh PA, USA
| Posted: 2009-01-22 18:31
I agree Manekel, whom ever you are...
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YIIMM
Grand Admiral
Joined: June 16, 2005
Posts: 851
From: Barcino, Hispania Tarraconensis
| Posted: 2009-01-22 20:20
Three men walk into a bar. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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$yTHe {C?}
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: September 29, 2002
Posts: 1292
From: Arlington, VA
| Posted: 2009-01-22 20:41
There was a man on trial in Alaska. During his trial, he is sitting at the stand, and the prosecutor approaches the stand. As he gets to the stand he leans in menacingly and he asks, "Where were you on the night of October to April?"
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Little Pet Slinki
Admiral
Joined: April 16, 2006
Posts: 836
From: United Kingdom, South West.
| Posted: 2009-01-23 00:03
What's white and doesn't climb trees?
A fridge.
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Bardiche
Chief Marshal
Joined: November 16, 2006
Posts: 1247
| Posted: 2009-01-23 21:29
Person1: What's the first letter in the alphabet?
Person2: A?
Person1: Don't say 'eh', say, 'excuse me?'.
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woopjohuunq
Cadet
Joined: January 15, 2009
Posts: 1
| Posted: 2009-01-23 23:43
Wow. Just wow.
Hyuk hyuk hyuk.
'One day at the Gates of Heaven, there was a line of those who await to gain admission in Heaven. The Gatekeeper found it interesting to hear how the people have perished and started asking them how, using the excuse 'Heaven is getting full and you're only getting in if yourreason for death was good enough to allow admission'.
As the next person walked up to his podium, he told him the 'story' and the other responded.
"Well, it all started like this: I was at home, which is a condo on the twenty-second floor, and I was doing mydaily exercises on the balcony. As I went to put away one of my dumbells, I tripped and tumbled over the railing. I was so fortunate to catch the railing of the person's condo who lived directly below me and I called out for help. A man came out and started yelling obscenities and hitting me with his fists. I finally let go and thought I fell to my doom but instead landed in the bushes below and survived thefall. Unfortunately, the man who had assaulted me earlier also threw his wardrobe off of the balcony and it crushed me."
The Gatekeeper, who was on the verge of laughing, admitted the gentleman in. Stopping the next guy, he said his story and the gentleman started his story.
"It was a long day at work and I finally got home when I caught my wife hurriedly getting dressed. A man's clothing was in a pile next to the bed so immediately I knew she was cheating on me. I searched the condo and finallyfound the man. He was hanging from the railing of my balcony. I went out and assaulted him until he fell, I was sure he had died from the fall but luckily for him, he landed on bushes and somehow survived the fall. Enraged, I lugged my wardrobe to the balcony and pushed it over, killing the guy. Unfortunately, I died of a heart-attack immediately thereafter."
Again, on the verge of laughing, he let this guy in as well. A thirdguy, who was completely naked, came to the podium andraising an eyebrow, told him the same thing.
The guy started:
"Well, it all happened when I was sleeping with my co-worker's wife. I heard him the door and I jumped up and hid in his wardrobe..."
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Meko
Grand Admiral
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 1956
From: Vancouver
| Posted: 2009-01-24 06:31
1: Whats the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits the windshield? ...... .......... its ass.
2: What does a blond get when she gets pregnant?............ another brain cell!
3: The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, "what the heck", and I starting jumping up and down along with her. She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant. I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's more."
I asked, "What do you mean there's more?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said....
"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack. Both tests came out positive!"
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|Kakashi|
Fleet Admiral
Joined: April 04, 2007
Posts: 448
| Posted: 2009-01-24 18:35
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.
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MrSparkle
Marshal
Joined: August 13, 2001
Posts: 1912
From: mrsparkle
| Posted: 2009-01-24 18:42
A man walks into a bar...ouch!
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Ship-Of-Fools
2nd Rear Admiral
Angry Mob
Joined: June 10, 2004
Posts: 415
From: USA
| Posted: 2009-01-24 19:01
Bathtub test
During a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?
'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' I said.
'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
'No' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'
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Ship-Of-Fools
2nd Rear Admiral
Angry Mob
Joined: June 10, 2004
Posts: 415
From: USA
| Posted: 2009-01-24 19:05
Fart
Coeus is on a bus, when he suddenly farts. Luckily the music is very loud.
So every time he farts, He times it with the music.
When he starts making his way to the door as he exits the bus
Everybody is throwing dagger looks at him, and he suddenly realizes. ............
Hes listening to his IPod !
The joke is that Coeus cant afford an Ipod, he spend all his money on Airsoft stuff
[ This Message was edited by: Ship-Of-Fools on 2009-01-24 20:31 ]
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2009-01-24 19:45
Quote:
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On 2009-01-24 19:05, Ship-Of-Fools wrote:
The joke is that Coeus cant afford an Ipod, he spend all his money on Airsoft stuff
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The joke is that Coeus would be intellegent enough to understand the concept of "money"
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