| Author |
True doctor horror stories... |
Diabo|ik
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 16, 2002
Posts: 327
From: Quebec, Canada
|  Posted: 2005-11-09 14:22
I wish I was a doctor until I read...
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's --Dress, and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I
was in the wrong one.
--Dr. M M, San Antonio, TX
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big
breaths," I instructed. Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied
the patient.
--Dr. R B, Seattle, WA
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
five minutes later, I heard her reporting
to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal
fart."
--Dr. S S, Manitoba, Canada
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity
test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
"Cover your right eye with your hand." He read
the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left." Again, a flawless read
Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read
the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had
done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his
eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
--Dr. M T, Worcester, MA
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having
trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I asked. The
patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and
now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress
and discovered what I hoped I
wouldn't see. Yes, the manhad over fifty patches on his body! Now
the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a
new one.
--Dr. R St. C, Norfolk, VA
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion
she answered "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband
was alive."
--Dr. S S, Corvallis, OR
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, So, how's your
breakfast this morning?" It's very good, except for the Kentucky
Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet
labeled "KY Jelly."
--Dr. L K, Detroit, MI
And Finally . . .
A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed
performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had
unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly
burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from
his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I
wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
--won't admit his name
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Mostly Retired.
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Veronw
Marshal
Joined: December 13, 2004
Posts: 554
| Posted: 2005-11-09 14:31
LOL poor guys.......
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Veronw
Marshal
Joined: December 13, 2004
Posts: 554
| Posted: 2005-11-09 14:31
and girls.........sorry
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2005-11-09 16:32
OMG, the last one is great rofl.
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-11-09 18:50
Notice they all happened in America or Canada 
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2005-11-09 20:07
Hahahahaha!
OMG that rocks!
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Darkspace: Twilight
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Borgie
Chief Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: August 15, 2005
Posts: 2256
From: close by
| Posted: 2005-11-09 20:40
lmao
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