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Sion Eltnam Atlasia
Captain
Joined: August 14, 2010
Posts: 4
From: Unknown
|  Posted: 2011-01-21 20:10
FIRST CHAPTER: Landing
"Your turn, Cadet. Let's keep things moving." the sergeant barked. Suddenly, I was out of my little trance and instinctively walked my way onboard the luxury transport pod. I was the last one to join the other newbies on their way to the U.W.S. Texan. It would be the first time all of us had been on a real space mission, in real danger. While our destination was a mere heavy engineer vessel, we saw it as a huge step into the world of galactic conquest. At least, that was how I looked at it.
I stored my baggage in the small compartment below my seat next to another young man I'd seen at the briefing. I saw he had a chestnut crew-cut and a pair of noticably thin eyebrows. He looked a bit shaken, so I decided I would see what was bothering him.
"First time getting outside the world, cadet?" I kindly said to him, poking his shoulder. He looked at me immediately, though there was a pause between us.
"Well, no," the man lost eye contact. "No problem there." His voice was quiet and sounded gentle, hinting at his anxiety.
"Something else worrying you a bit?"
"...I suppose I'm just homesick already. I'm going to miss the Earth."
"That's only one planet there, buddy. Where we're going, we'll be seeing hundreds more!" I relaxed in my seat. "Plus, there's always the chance that you'll be right back here again one day."
"I sure hope so," a subtle sigh came from him. "I'm Paul, by the way." He held out his hand to me, and I shook it politely.
"Call me Laz. Short for Lazlo, but I got a lot of crap for having an uncommon name like that from the instructors," I replied. It was the truth, people normally don't hear a goofy name like that anymore.
"Good enough for me." Paul said. I sensed he felt more comfortable knowing he had someone to talk to now, and we began to feel the craft lift from the ground. As the trip out of the atmosphere began, Paul and I continued our casual conversation. We talked about the friends and family we were leaving from home, or in Paul's case, the family he was joining in the ship crew. I found out he had a brother working on the Texan, who he'd been communicating with for a couple weeks before the leave.
"He told me a lot about the conditions on board, and about most of the people he's working with." Paul explained to me. "Though it's pretty identical to any other heavy engineer, the interior is kept well. Since the guy's been on at least two dozen different crafts, he said this one was exceptionally clean and organized."
"That's a relief, I guess. It'll be our first, so it'll be easy to settle in from what you tell me." I pulled at the collar of my uniform. A ship that clean must have had some people who get punished a lot. Either that, or the janitors are certainly kept busy. I was hoping it wouldn't be the first thing I was assigned to.
"Don't let that fool you though, I've heard some discouraging stuff about the Captain," my friend shook his head. Before he continued, I interrupted him.
"Bah, I've dealt with some pretty hardass dudes on the planet. One in space isn't any different. Make fun of my name, shove me around a little more. I'll tell you what, there hasn't been one instructor I haven't gotten my bit of revenge on in any training I've taken. The worst this guy could do is make me scrub the mess hall. You don't have to tell me about the Cap." My hand fluttered at him.
"I was just going to say--" Paul stopped as someone made an outcry telling us we've boarded the U.W.S. Texan. "Nevermind, you'll see for yourself soon enough." Without pondering what he meant, I joined the rest of the cadets in disembarking the pod after gathering my belongings.
When Paul and I had stepped off, we joined everyone else in a single-file line. While we weren't soldiers, we were supposed to be actling like them here, apparently. The two of us stood looking around for our welcome wagon as the rest of our peers continuied to chatter with one another. We had landed in an enclosed docking bay, not too large compared to others due to the ship being designed to take in and send out simple transport pods. Despite what Paul had told me, this part the ship didn't look like it was scrubbed up too often. I noticed workers loading up a separate pod with varying steel crates using a forklift, and a tall, lean man supervising. Just then, he seemed to notice the line of recruits and started to pace over. I glanced at Paul a moment to ask if he recognized him as our captain, though he gave me a negative. Seeing him approach, the others faced him and began to simmer into silence. We stood there looking at him, and he looking each of us over individually. If it weren't for the grinding and clanging of the other pod being prepared, the wide room would only be occupied by the ambience of space.
"Welcome to the Texan, cadets." the tall, clean-shaven man said. "I am hoping your trip to our humble abode was satisfactory, considering it was on a brand-spankin' new first class transport." He began to slowly step forward, walking parallel to our group's line. His eyes were set on intimidation, closely inspecting each newbie he passed. Paul and I were at the opposite end of which he had began. I nudged my fellow slightly, but he didn't respond. I took a quick look at him, and the poor guy was already showing signs of latent nervousness. But when my head turned again, I was face to face with he who had stricken fear in Paul. I flinched in surprise, and he put on a smug grin.
"I believe I was warned about you," He stared at me, still wearing that crooked smile. "Lazy Lazlo, huh? The little prankster?" My head turned away, and I sheepishly grinned with him.
"I didn't know I was famous already, sir." I shot back. He only snickered at me, and shifted his gaze to Paul.
"And Paul. I know your brother pretty well. It was him who let it slip that I'd get to meet his little bro on the newbie transport." Looking at Paul, I saw him gulp. Shakingly, he made a quiet reply.
"That's me, sir."
"Of course it is. You've got pencil drawn eyebrows just like him." The tall man jeered at him.
"He's got more hair in his eyebrows than you do on your head, baldy." I let my thoughts slip off my tongue. It was a bad move, but I was too late. The big bully immediately looked at me as if I was prey. As he angerly moved towars me again, we were both stopped by the cling of metal doors beginning to slide open. All of us, including our antagonist, turned our heads to see a slim silhouette in the doorway. I heard Paul faintly whisper to me: "It's her."
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\"Casualties are nothing, it is what they accomplish that matters.\"
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Reznor
Marshal
Joined: March 29, 2010
Posts: 316
| Posted: 2011-01-22 02:00
I like it!
The view from civilian/militia perspective is interesting. Also like the quick descriptions you give, makes it easy to have a picture in my head. It's like watching a movie in your brain  .
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Indictor: 1. To accuse of wrongdoing
Interdictor: (DS) A planetary emplacement or Cruiser Class vessel capable of preventing FTL travel in a certain radius.
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xo3sonicfan102
Captain
Joined: March 03, 2010
Posts: 18
| Posted: 2011-01-22 02:38
for some reason this is better than any other story on darkspace,give ursef a pat on the back 
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jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-22 05:19
nice keep up the good work
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Eledore Massis [R33]
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: May 26, 2002
Posts: 2695
From: tsohlacoLocalhost
| Posted: 2011-01-22 08:58
Interesting. been a while since i actually took the time reading a fan fic.
But the topic caught my eye.. i was thinking Romantically Apocalyptic
So far looks nice, with the exception that earth isn't that standard these days for getting fresh recruits. it is more of a "place" where top brass retire and corporate PR land.
Your view of civilian live is actually accurate, UGTO is a independent operating trading alliance between mega corporations. every employee that joins UGTO has once been "employed" by a megacorp and your career choices/defiance decide the disciplinary standards. (Been good you join for pay. been bad your forced!)
looking forward to more.
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James 296
Fleet Admiral
Joined: March 19, 2009
Posts: 141
| Posted: 2011-01-22 20:14
very well done. give yourself a pat on the back and keep up the good work
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Sion Eltnam Atlasia
Captain
Joined: August 14, 2010
Posts: 4
From: Unknown
| Posted: 2011-01-22 22:42
SECOND CHAPTER: Queen
As she began to approach us, it became clear why this captain was special. A female with a rank like that was uncommon, but one that close to my own age was nearly unheard of. At the same time, she had a pair of piercing yet captivating violet eyes, with her braided hair curiously and naturally the same color. The uniform she wore matched these features as well, and it vaguely reminded me of those the girls at my old high school had worn. A golden ribbon beneath a white collar topped off above her chest, and a pair of gold rings resided around her wrists. The white skirt was frilled where her purple top ended, while her long violet stockings looked tightly bound to her legs. Atop the young woman's head was a beret--seemingly personalized with a small gold symbol along with a few of her rank pins.
"Lieutenant Drake," her cold voice made a slight echo within the docking bay. "I presume you have yet to find one of your own size to pick on, yes?" The hint of a Russian dialect was in her words. I noticed the man who had been intimidating us seconds earlier squirm to himself as the captain made her way over. The man backed off of me as his hard glare dissipated into a face of soft embarrassment. I took note of how large he was compared to the woman as they stood together...only then did I notice she had a pistol resting in a holster around her left shoulder. Interestingly enough, the lieutenant was entirely unarmed.
"Excuse me Captain, I was just taking a bit of attendance." Drake spouted. The captain sighed.
"Do not insult my intelligence, mister. Just because I was babysitting you first, it does not give you a reason to pick on your new playpen buddies." She turned to our line, the lieutenant feeling the cold from her shoulder.
"Yes, miss." The giant had been tamed. Or whipped.
"Hello and welcome," she addressed us. "to the U.W.S. Texan. This heavy engineering vessel is designed to mine resources directly from a planet and put them to good use. That means using drones to construct anything we need for the situation, on a planet or not," she made a step towards my end of the line, looking at the lot of us in the same way her subordinate had. "But you kids should already know what this thing does, yes?" She paused. "Well, do you?"
"Yes, Captain!" Our group resounded in response, including myself and Paul.
"Very good," She nodded. "Now, though I do prefer my crew to simply refer to me as captain, I shall give you a formal introduction. My name is Sion Eltnam Atlasia, and I will be your captain on this vessel," And then, Sion bowed to us gracefully. "That will be all you need to know of me, comrades. However..." Captain shifted her gaze to her lacky, raising a thin hand to place on his shoulder. "You will be getting to know Lieutenant Drake much more than I. While he's a large man, it just takes some clever words to keep him in line. Nevertheless, you cadets must still pay him respect. I ask that you do not fear him, for I will not tolerate any meaningless tussles on my ship. Whether it's between yourselves or Lieutenant. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Captain!" was our reply.
"And with you, Drake?"
"Of course, Captain!" the now gentle giant nodded to her. After this big introduction, I had begun to feel sorry for Drake. He probably had a rather simple mind, and looked like he was verbally shoved around by a woman practically half his size and age daily.
"E-Excuse me, Captain," a higher-pitched male tone sang out from my line of peers. Looking over, I could see the rest of the heads turned to stare at a shorter guy wearing frameless glasses. At the same time, he was noticably chubby. Captain Atlasia slowly walked closer to him.
"What seems to be the problem, cadet?" She stood at eye level with him--he was indeed pretty low for his age.
"I was just wondering when our first meal here would be...I haven't gotten to eat since breakfast, and--"
"This is exactly what I'm talking about," Sion stopped him. "I should have expected to be running a daycare service." Her palm went straight to her forehead. I could only shake my head and look at Paul. My friend did the same, showing dismay at the unsuspecting grub's bravery in asking the captain such a silly question. After putting our fellow cadet to shame, the curvy captain turned her back to us. "Lieutenant, take your new kiddie friends and their bib-wearing friend to their cribs and get them settled in. I will have a long day of playtime prepared for them when they awake." Thus, the violet queen began to walk towards the door from which she entered. I can admit I had a strange attraction to that woman, but knew I wasn't alone. At the same time, I didn't dare think about making any clever moves either against or for her. I had fear.
"You heard her, time to get movin'," Drake urged us on. The lot of us made no conversation as we followed him further into the ship. Everyone was still hung up on how our commanding officer was such a babe, I guess. Luckily, I was placed in a bunk in the same room as Paul. I didn't know the other few we were hanging with, but I didn't see the short chubby guy around since he got told off...
All I could think of was that I might have found the angel of hell.
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\"Casualties are nothing, it is what they accomplish that matters.\"
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Admiral C. Wilson
Admiral
Joined: July 06, 2010
Posts: 262
From: Arkansas
| Posted: 2011-01-24 15:17
Cool story
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merebear
Grand Admiral
Joined: March 06, 2003
Posts: 11
From: Grand Rapids Mich
| Posted: 2011-01-24 18:04
now here is a lady with grace and chops!
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when all else fails....charge!
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Eledore Massis [R33]
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: May 26, 2002
Posts: 2695
From: tsohlacoLocalhost
| Posted: 2011-01-24 19:46
I am not that good on UGTO protocol, indeed a UGTO captain usually is NOT young. You only get to command a ship when you have proven your value to the navy. So only reason could be is that she has a family that pulled strings or she had UGTO navy upbringing.
While this is a engineer ship all Staff officers carry a sidearm on there own ship and if part of there official mission.
Great story so far.
Your urging me to properly write all the small faction detail stuff down that i accumulated over the years.
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Mr Black
Grand Admiral
Palestar
Joined: September 20, 2003
Posts: 486
From: Gaifenland
| Posted: 2011-01-24 20:28
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jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-24 20:38
Quote:
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On 2011-01-22 08:58, Eledore Massis [R33] wrote:
Interesting. been a while since i actually took the time reading a fan fic.
But the topic caught my eye.. i was thinking Romantically Apocalyptic
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i was as well
and great story poster whos name i can not remember (just woke up give me a break)
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Thernhoghas
Grand Admiral
Exathra Alliance Fleet
Joined: September 18, 2010
Posts: 243
From: somewhere in Germany
| Posted: 2011-01-25 01:34
Quote:
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On 2011-01-24 20:38, jamesbob wrote:
Quote:
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On 2011-01-22 08:58, Eledore Massis [R33] wrote:
Interesting. been a while since i actually took the time reading a fan fic.
But the topic caught my eye.. i was thinking Romantically Apocalyptic
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i was as well
and great story poster whos name i can not remember (just woke up give me a break)
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Thank god.......... I thought I was the only one who thought of RA when reading the thread title xD
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Admiral C. Wilson
Admiral
Joined: July 06, 2010
Posts: 262
From: Arkansas
| Posted: 2011-01-27 15:32
Want more 
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Well boys it looks like we'll be home in time for coffee and donuts.
-Admiral Ricky Chance Wilson
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Sion Eltnam Atlasia
Captain
Joined: August 14, 2010
Posts: 4
From: Unknown
| Posted: 2011-02-07 17:25
(( Sorry I'm late. Trying to keep up with another bit of writing. I'm reserving this post for when I put the last touches on the new chapter.
Also, more will be revealed on how Miss Sion got to her position at her age. She's certainly not an ordinary woman, as you may have already guessed. Purple hair, and whatnot. ))
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