Author |
Darkspace: Kinetic energy |
Ulven Skyblade Marshal Non Omnis Moriar
Joined: March 04, 2007 Posts: 230 From: Timbo400
| Posted: 2008-06-06 15:43  
can't stop reading.
_________________ The more you see, the more you read, the more you hear, the more you know that you know nothing. And that the truth is nothing more then a personal judgment on the world around us by the people around us.
|
GothThug {C?} Fleet Admiral
Joined: June 29, 2005 Posts: 2932
| Posted: 2008-06-06 16:25  
hehe delta, this is freaking awesome...chapters need to be longer however...like my storys xD
_________________
|
|Kakashi| Fleet Admiral
Joined: April 04, 2007 Posts: 448
| Posted: 2008-06-07 07:21  
Love it. The best.
_________________
|
DMC-13 Admiral Evil Empires Inc.
Joined: February 16, 2008 Posts: 187 From: Huntington Beach, California, USA
| Posted: 2008-06-07 21:24  
Nice. Good twist to the story. And it's Earth and UGTO that's in trouble, excellent.
DMC-13
_________________
|
Deltabacon Fleet Admiral
Joined: August 17, 2007 Posts: 395 From: Liverpool, Great Britain
| Posted: 2008-06-28 09:13  
The missles had done no damage to paul but make it smaller, the massive divots where the missles had landed making the planet a hulk of mountains and valleys...
The tractor beams were slowing Paul down as it continued on its relentless voyage towards earth, no fewer than 29 dreadnaughts had it on the tractor and the focus sites of thier beams were compacting the soil as they sent pulse after pulse of energy to the surface.
The planets' speed was slowing down, now it was crawling at 3 gu's a second.
Suddenly a group of unknown contacts appeared on the scanners of the UGTO, they were lifeforms... in space? The Dreadnaughts kept pushing as the Cruisers formed a defensive perimeter. A sudden spike of energy, yellow light cut through the battle cruiser known as the Avenger. Its armor turning red then white as it melted and the oxygen inside exploded and boiled in the crewmens throats.
The people of earth were in a panic yet, on the dark side of earth, not one person knew of the danger.
Paul had been slowed down to 1 gu now, the dreadnaughts still pushing, the cruisers still sacrificing themselves to save earth.
The area around Earth was littered with rotting hulks of bloodied organic matter, melted and scragged white armor and the bodies, the bodies of suffocated humans that had their organs sucked out of their bodies.
The Attackers suddenly stopped attacking and went to the planet. Confused, the UGTO cruisers stopped attacking. Suddenly a beam of green ight pulsed into Paul. The aliens were helping! The battle-weary Cruisers formed another defensive perimeter even as the Communications began.
Thinking that nothing happier could happen, the chancellor of the UGTO ordered the cruisers to fall back to earth even as Paul finally stopped.
Not all was well however...
"Help! Robots just landed on Hyperion and knocked out our defensive grid! Oh God he-..."
A scout sent back pictures of a strange black ship, lined with blue dropping pods onto Hyperion. Even as this happened, 7 Slipspace exit points opened simultaniously. The aliens cloaked immediatly as the misshapen, robotic ships started to tear through the UGTO dreadnaughts. The cruisers were once again deployed and the battle raged on. The aliens uncloaked and also began to attack the new enemies, a temporary allience formed between two unlikely factions.
The mishapen ships were too strong even with the help of the aliens.
As the people of earth watched, a massive pulse knocked Paul towards earth at 25 gu per second. The churches were filled as the first flames came.
**********
The humans were different after that, having found a new home planet of Maurbon, there was many family tales of the strange ships and the terrible death of earth...
Suddenly, 7 White slipspace exit points opened in unison...
Not one person lived to tell the tale again...
[ This Message was edited by: Deltaflyer *OPS* on 2008-06-28 09:25 ]
_________________
|
Deltabacon Fleet Admiral
Joined: August 17, 2007 Posts: 395 From: Liverpool, Great Britain
| Posted: 2008-06-28 09:16  
if people want it, i will start a new fanfic soon but i just needed to finish this one it was bugging me sooo much
_________________
|
Ulven Skyblade Marshal Non Omnis Moriar
Joined: March 04, 2007 Posts: 230 From: Timbo400
| Posted: 2008-06-28 09:52  
i dont like the ending it is to much like a thunder bolt on a blau sky. but i like all the other things in it. so i would say a 7 (on a scale of 1 till 10)
_________________ The more you see, the more you read, the more you hear, the more you know that you know nothing. And that the truth is nothing more then a personal judgment on the world around us by the people around us.
|
GothThug {C?} Fleet Admiral
Joined: June 29, 2005 Posts: 2932
| Posted: 2008-06-28 18:02  
Sad ending
_________________
|
Deltabacon Fleet Admiral
Joined: August 17, 2007 Posts: 395 From: Liverpool, Great Britain
| Posted: 2008-06-28 18:12  
sad as in emotional or sad as in terrible? :S
_________________
|
deathblave Marshal
Joined: October 10, 2007 Posts: 268
| Posted: 2008-06-28 22:21  
my dread the hellfire wasnety in it but it was still good
_________________
|
DMC-13 Admiral Evil Empires Inc.
Joined: February 16, 2008 Posts: 187 From: Huntington Beach, California, USA
| Posted: 2008-07-01 11:30  
I think it was an excellent story, lot's of action and plot twist's. Should be a movie. Anyway, can't wait for the next one, it'll be tough to top this one, LOL.
DMC-13
_________________
|
Deltabacon Fleet Admiral
Joined: August 17, 2007 Posts: 395 From: Liverpool, Great Britain
| Posted: 2008-07-01 11:34  
You should see what i write at school lol
_________________
|