| Author |
freak of nature |
jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
|  Posted: 2011-01-09 02:49
"a cold damp feeling woke me as i slowly opened my eyes to a isolation room with dampness all over it was hard to move water driped from the roof as i slowly picked my self off the bed"
"noticing a sharp spike of pain that recinded after i pushed off the bed i looked at my hand to see that it was deformed with a thin exoskelton growing over it the rear of my knees were hardened with more exo skelton that had grown over my knee cap my lower torso was hardened with even more exoskelton hundreds of voices speaking away in my head darkness creeping in and yet here i remained most of me with exoskelton covering my temple my torso my arms my hands my elbows and my knees and my ankle a werid sense of 100 eyes watching my every move studying me and a slowly returning memory of what happened.
elite assault dread rentless
orbit above zoca
i remember asking legion for a status report of the abandoned icc research lab when the main qst cannon fired slaming into the facility destroying it.
and legion gave me a cold hearted reply through the ships intercom when his repersation was right infront of me on his holopad.
what he said would be the last thing from my previous life.
enjoy death admirallllllllll he crashed on l it was clear legion had gone rouge before i could activate the kill switch a energy pulse hit me rendering me unconcious.
and here i am in a iso room as i turn into something like a gaint bug.
or worse a lobster.
one voice in my head that i could make out was the doctors thought pattens as she typed up a report back to ugto high command. i was hoping it was to have me killed anything would be better then this. sadly my deformation had stoped so here i was half human half bug and life would never be the same again.
by the way thanks juex i am so going to log in and own your ship 
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-09 02:57 ]
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Lazurkri
Fleet Admiral
Interstellar Cultural Confederation United
Joined: January 20, 2010
Posts: 37
From: Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada
| Posted: 2011-01-09 05:20
....... this needs editing. Badly. Its really hard to understand/impossible to. Would you like me to do the necessary edits for you?
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We Must Hang Together, Or Assuredly, We Will All Hang Separately
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jamesbob
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 22, 2009
Posts: 410
| Posted: 2011-01-09 21:52
Quote:
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On 2011-01-09 05:20, Lazurkri wrote:
....... this needs editing. Badly. Its really hard to understand/impossible to. Would you like me to do the necessary edits for you?
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yeah i posted it and fixing it slowly.
for some screwed up reason i was getting a disk full error every time i tryed to save it on my harddrive.
i got 6 gigabytes of freespace left ???
edit.
OH SILLY ME XD i forgot to mention it was a sudden awaken memory in a first person format those are always hard to do correctly with out making it confusing or turning it into a first person narration.
extra edit.
oh and if you guys didn't read my last story thats may explain whats going on XD.
[ This Message was edited by: jamesbob on 2011-01-11 02:13 ]
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