| Author |
Chuck Norris < Faustus!! |
Koda
Marshal
Fatal Squadron
Joined: August 29, 2002
Posts: 1384
|  Posted: 2006-01-04 15:09
22 Faustus Facts
1. Faustus' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Faustus does not sleep. He waits.
3. Faustus is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Faustus is pain.
5. Faustus defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Faustus loves you.
6. Faustus isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Faustus.
7. If you can see Faustus, he can see you. If you can’t see Faustus you may be only seconds away from death.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Faustus instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Faustus.
10. Faustus can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
11. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Faustus allows to live.
12. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Faustus, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
13. Faustus invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
14. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Faustus could use to kill you, including the room itself.
15. Faustus is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
16. Faustus is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. When Faustus goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
18. Faustus has two speeds: walk and kill.
19.When Faustus jumps into a body of water, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Faustus instead.
20. Faustus can divide by zero.
21. Faustus can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
22. When Faustus runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
Faustus = 1337
_________________
|
Crim
Fleet Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 16, 2003
Posts: 1336
| Posted: 2006-01-04 15:16
lmao..
_________________
|
Grimith
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: August 09, 2003
Posts: 836
From: Your local future farm.
| Posted: 2006-01-04 15:34
You'd think, with all of his skills, he'd procure enough money and support (either by work or by evoking fear in others) to make DarkSpace better than it has ever been.
_________________
|
BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2006-01-04 16:07
^ ROFL
_________________
|
_x$witchBladex_ [1.480 Fanboy]
Grand Admiral
Joined: February 26, 2003
Posts: 849
From: Upstate New York
| Posted: 2006-01-04 16:43
LMAO
I <3 F!
~Switch
_________________
* [=TB=]Enterprise @39933 sent to Clan: "Thats a lie Switch, you'd never let anyone else drink rum if it were right there. You'd slip teh roofies in and start drinking it yourself and not even realize it."
|
MainDarkmaster*P3*
Admiral
Joined: May 28, 2005
Posts: 97
From: USA
| Posted: 2006-01-04 16:57
LMAO!
FAUSTUS should challenge bill gates for his empire in a game of monpoly.
_________________
|
Banshee
Grand Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: August 28, 2001
Posts: 2181
From: Philadelphia, PA
| Posted: 2006-01-04 17:27
Hilarious!
_________________
|
AdmBito
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: October 04, 2002
Posts: 1249
From: Its hard out here for a pimp
| Posted: 2006-01-04 17:46
Quote:
|
On 2006-01-04 15:09, CharAznable wrote:
22 Faustus Facts
...
6. Faustus isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Faustus.
Faustus = 1337
...
|
|
If you'll notice, I already hold a patent on this in my sig. Thanks, try again.
_________________
Puppies gotta die, too.
|
Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2006-01-04 18:04
I don't see a trademark or a copyright in your sig, bito
_________________
|
Hellza - master
Cadet
Joined: February 24, 2004
Posts: 556
| Posted: 2006-01-04 19:05
Did i hear Chuck Norris?
Here
_________________
|
Grimith
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: August 09, 2003
Posts: 836
From: Your local future farm.
| Posted: 2006-01-04 19:08
I was just waiting for someone to post that flash after the mention of Chuck Norris. Just waiting...
And it came.
Hellza did not disappoint.
...well, actually, he did.
*shakes his head*
_________________
|
Light-of-Aurora
Grand Admiral
Joined: December 01, 2003
Posts: 602
From: NJ, USA
| Posted: 2006-01-04 21:14
The question is, can you see Chuck Norris? It is very likely you cannot; thus you are in grave danger.The Community of DS can no longer assure you you're safety. Looking to F for protection seems to be you're only option for surviving. =]
[ This Message was edited by: [AD]Light-of-Aurora on 2006-01-04 21:16 ]
_________________
|
Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2006-01-04 22:06
Tsk tsk tsk... Char, such lack of originality.
_________________
|
Lux (Polaris)
Fleet Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: April 20, 2004
Posts: 835
From: Asgard
| Posted: 2006-01-06 20:41
lmao....
_________________
ICC Security Councilor - Raven representative
Loyal Admiral of the Interstellar Cultural Confederation Navy.
Senior Commander of the Raven Warriors, the ICC elite.
Captain of the Assault Dreadnaught \"Gungnir\"
|
-Smokey-
Grand Admiral
Joined: October 22, 2004
Posts: 784
From: Florida
| Posted: 2006-01-06 21:03
crim ur sig hurtz my eyes
_________________
|
English
Deutsch
Nederlands
)
