| Author |
Disturbing news from Austria |
Shigernafy
Admiral
Joined: May 29, 2001
Posts: 5726
From: The Land of Taxation without Representation
|  Posted: 2005-12-12 10:19
As some of you are already aware, I am spending a year in the lovely Alpine wonderland of Austria (or Österreich for all the Deutschsprechers). I have been enjoying my time here so far. The country is noted for its peacefulness, its ability to form governments in less than a month, and its aversion to invading random foreign lands. It has a strong tradition of honoring the rule of law. Democracy is sacred. And above all, the people are great: friendly, happy, and non-violent. I thought they were great.
Until today.
For today, a realization hit me. Not the fact that I need to trim my nose hair. Not the fact that I’d left the oven on max all morning. Not the fact that the beer is all too light around here. No, no… something far more insidious than that. Something which threatens to tear apart the fabric of our civilized society.
Austria is no neutral country, no land of innocents. It is, my friends, a vast S.W Training Ground. That’s right, it is a country infiltrated by the agents of the Saucy Wenches. It is a land perverted by the Spooning Wookies. A people influenced by Sand Wiches… and Sand Witches.
S.W has influenced cultural norms to create a perversion, a horrible trait surely meant for harm.
That’s right… they’ve made them all Sandalsocksors! Everyone in this country thinks its ok to wear socks and sandals. Heck, its not only ok, its normal. Hell, its not only normal, its preferable!
The Austrians innocently call them “Hausschuhe” – house shoes. They fill the role of slippers in American culture, sort of. The agents of the Sloppy Willies have created a culture where you’re not supposed to wear your shoes indoors. Instead, you switch into a pair of house shoes, and use those while inside. The thing is, they all wear sandals for this purpose. And they all wear socks while they’re doing it!
The evidence is clear. The ‘Spanding Waistlines infiltrators warped the cultural values to make it expected that one take off their shoes when coming inside. Then they tossed in the additional idea – which may seem innocent on the surface – that one should wear shoes indoors, perhaps to keep ones socks from wearing thin. Then, they manipulated the people into wearing sandals for these shoes.
Graphic proof of the true nature of S.W: Sandalsock Wearers! A group of students at a local school, innocently wearing the doom of us all…
Beware my friends... some day, some foreigner may suggest you wear shoes indoors as well. I beseech you, resist. Resist, fight back! Do not give in, for this is just one small step down the road of S.W Domination! For the sake of us all, you must be strong, and Resist the Seductive Words of the Sandalsock Wearers!
[ This Message was edited by: Shigernafy on 2005-12-12 10:24 ]
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* [S.W]AdmBito @55321 Sent \"I dunno; the French had a few missteps. But they're on the right track, one headbutt at a time.\"
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2005-12-12 10:51
dear god, we're all going to die.
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-12-12 11:18
So THAT'S why you wanted the old S.W names...
It all fits so neatly together now...
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James Bum007
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: April 23, 2003
Posts: 480
From: Queens, New York
| Posted: 2005-12-12 12:09
Just wasted about 2 minutes of my precious life reading this. Thank you Shig for that important insight on the S.W. world.
"Nough Said"
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2005-12-12 12:31
OMG! I knew Austria had a deep dark secret!
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Drafell
Grand Admiral
Mythica
Joined: May 30, 2003
Posts: 2449
From: United Kingdom
| Posted: 2005-12-12 15:58
WE ARE ALL DOOMED!
DOOMED, I SAY!
DOOMED!!!!
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It's gone now, no longer here...Yet still I see, and still I fear.rnrn
rnrn
DarkSpace Developer - Retired
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Light-of-Aurora
Grand Admiral
Joined: December 01, 2003
Posts: 602
From: NJ, USA
| Posted: 2005-12-12 16:22
So ah.. er...
[quietly]
what's s.w. again?
[/quietly]
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Ragglock
Marshal
BIOnics Industry Syndicate
Joined: May 29, 2001
Posts: 1955
From: Denmark
| Posted: 2005-12-12 16:34
uhhh ??? there is more than one
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P:@12 C:$38
LOVE the smell of human flesh in the morning smells like MVictory
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Coeus {NCX-Charger}
Admiral, I can't read,
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: February 16, 2004
Posts: 3635
From: South Philly
| Posted: 2005-12-12 17:19
Holy crapfart... now I'm scared
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Darkspace: Twilight
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Lacrosseian
Fleet Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: October 01, 2004
Posts: 1254
| Posted: 2005-12-12 18:18
Quote:
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On 2005-12-12 17:19, Coeus [FIX 483 FIRST!] wrote:
Holy crapfart... now I'm scared
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Shush you SW spy.
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Drow
Fleet Admiral
Joined: June 06, 2003
Posts: 449
From: USA, WI
| Posted: 2005-12-12 18:44
/me turns Shig over to the S.W government for torture of releasing one of its many guarded secrets..
We will soak you in limberger for days on end
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Nindol tangi, dos zhal zah'har l' jiv'undus d'
natha szithrel Tagnik'zun elggor
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Borgie
Chief Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: August 15, 2005
Posts: 2256
From: close by
| Posted: 2005-12-12 19:57
so this is how our life ends.. drat i always that tought i was gonna die after being run off the road by an angry g/f...lol
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Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2005-12-12 20:02
Shig... I'm moving there. A whole country of people enlightened to the wonder of sandals and socks? How can I resist?
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Sardaukar
Admiral
Raven Warriors
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 1656
| Posted: 2005-12-12 20:25
At least they haven't started typing with their tongues or creating cheese in the likeness of every object imaginable.
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Hellza - Dark Master
Fleet Admiral
Praetorian Wolves
Joined: June 06, 2004
Posts: 498
| Posted: 2005-12-12 20:27
I hear that Austria has Superb Woman....
tis this true?
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I am watching you in the dark shadows
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